Now what?

You spend all of that time learning how to be a good pregnant lady.

You learn how to do the whole crazy birth thing.

You learn how to feed them, burp them, change them and get them to sleep.

And then… They go and turn into full fledged human beings on you.

Now what?

There’s no more stressing over whether they’re hitting their milestones or what foods to introduce. They’re good.

There’s no more cute outfits. They know what they like.

There’s no more shoving them in a car seat and taking them where you want. It’s all a negotiation and hopes for good behaviour.

They didn’t prepare me for this stage in all of those motherhood books. I was so busy getting to be good at being pregnant and getting through the infant stage that I had no idea how confounding the big boy stage would be.

My sons are 6 and 8. It’s fun and exciting to see the people they are, the minds they’re starting to develop, the activities they’re starting to excel in.

But I can’t help but feeling that I’m along for the ride and barely holding on for dear life. Please tell me I’m not the only one! I have no clue about Pokémon or Beyblades or hockey. In fact, sitting around a cold rink early on Saturday mornings was the LAST thing I wanted to do, but since the boys like it, I do it.

Along for the ride.

While the start of motherhood comes with so many books and so many clearly defined dos and don’ts, by the time you get a few years in, it’s more of a surprise that unfolds around you.

And it’s fun. I’m glad I’m along for the ride.

I never wanted to stand around a cold hockey rink far too early on a Saturday morning. But seeing them get all geared up and shuffle along the ice is actually fun. Cold, but fun. Watching them learn to read, do math, learn how many eyes a bee has is exciting, kind of mind blowing, actually.

They come home from school and have a bunch of things to tell me that they’ve learned, that they’ve done with friends, that they’ve imagined and created. Now, I’ve learned not to ask what they did at school, because the certain answer to that question is “NOTHING!” But if I wait for them to get there, they start telling me, bit by bit, the minutiae of their days.

And it’s all just so incredible. An amazing part of the ride.

I love hearing about what they and their friends thought up. I love hearing about the jokes and the funny things and I feel my blood boil whenever anyone wrongs them.

This whole parenthood thing is crazy.

My mom made it look so easy. I thought parents knew everything, I thought they had all of the answers. I really thought when I became a mother that it would be that way.

I’m winging it.

Sometimes the moms on Facebook and the moms at the school and the moms in my circle make me wonder if everyone got the manual but me. I’m pretty sure they’re just along for the ride too…

But then I think, they seem happy, they’re becoming decent little human beings, they’re thriving – and that means I must be doing something right.

Right?