Coping

Tragedy happens.

It happens every day. There are some cities, some towns, some countries that live with tragedy as a daily occurrence.

How do they cope?

As a mom, I’ve started to realize that I have been living in two worlds. In one, I’m this strong woman who won’t let haters, terrorists, villains, criminals and “The Man” get me down. In the other one I’m a mom. I want to run away and live in bubblewrap, where my kids are safe from violence, guns, drugs, peer pressure and The Man.

Where they’re safe.

Sometimes I feel like I live with my head in the sand, straddling the line and trying to believe everything will be ok. But the latest neighbourhood violence has left me a bit damaged.

Did it hit too close to home?

Yes.

Did it make me have to take my head out of the sand a little and realize there’s only one ‘me’ and I am both strong and afraid?

Yes.

How do you cope? I don’t know how – I just know I have to keep them safe and loved.

It’s for them.

Things like being exhausted, struggles with the laundry and parenting fails seem to be inconsequential today, when I think how, after an incident of violence, there’s another mom out there that won’t get to fuss over these struggles any more. How she’d give anything to still have these *first world* problems instead of her new reality.

I’m tired of “thoughts and prayers” and if I hug my babies any tighter tonight I might squish them irreparably.

So, as the two sides of me have been forced to become one, and my new identity includes a painful dose of reality, I want to know – how do others cope?